clarissa

2008-04-22T01:24:00.000-07:00

Acceleration

Robert Pattinson Must see ferrrrrrr sureeeeeeeeeee

Rockin' high-tops and sayin' no to stilettos.

Lets get this party started right,

Lets get drunk and freaky fly,

You with me so its alright,

We gonna stay up the whole night.

2008-04-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

ENA AND BIMBO GO TOGETHER LIKE D AND G, KARL AND LAGERFELD, ROSS AND RACHEL, MICKEY AND MOUSE, DONALD AND DUCK, oh you get my drift.
(:

2008-04-13T01:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, bull.

Have you ever wanted something so bad although you know having it would sooner or later destroy you?

What's the most important thing to you, that?

Do you honestly think it'll make your stupid life any less miserable?

What are you even doing with your life?

Have you really stopped?

Why can't you see the disgust i feel when i'm around you?

Why don't you want me around anymore?

Do you think i'll ever achieve anything worth being proud of?

Everytime you put your arms around me, is it what you're looking for or do you feel like throwing up?

What do you really think of me?

Questions i would love to ask but have no guts to.

2008-04-11T09:39:00.000-07:00

The way you steal my attention is flat out burglary.
I luv you x 1639472630483729435278819203.
Miss you wanna kiss you

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-04-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

You got me slippin' tumblin'

Things that made me happy:
- Morning mass
- "Flooooddd"
- PE!!!! = Gym = Weights training = Mr Chee's nice muscles minus face (Hahaha)
- F.R.I.E.N.D.S with Van
- 'See you again'
- Roti John during recess
- Jem and Dill
- Lunch
- Skinny boys talk with Anne and Danella
- Sexxxy Jessss (:
- Daddy
- Jersey dress

What the fresh, Michael Johns got out of American Idol. America you must be deaf or something. Ugh, Val now i know how you felt when Danny got out. America you suck.
Ughhhh bring back Michael ):

Pretty faces, tell ugly lies.

2008-04-04T08:49:00.001-07:00

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities. - Dr. Seuss

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-04-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

Call you babydoll all the time,

Things that made me happy today:
Morning mass

Frisbies, sprinting and hula hoops during P.E

Boob partners Cheryl and Rebekah

Ponning chinese class with Audrey

Writing in Anne Xue's notebook

Recess at the parallel bars with the Clique

No geog

Tapping Rebekah's and Michelle's shoulders

A peanut butter biscuit from Yan Ting

Mrs Tan

Mango smoothie

Cutesy bus driver (: (:

Novena Square

Mummy

NET-A-PORTER

I feel like going to Tokyo now, all that cutesy colouful wonderful shinjuku-y/harajuku-y ness where you don't need a reason to dress up. Not to forget the pastries and crepes and waffles and authentic Japanese food. Mmm. I'm insanely sick of Singapore.

Pretty dress, I still want you, although you can't fit. ):

jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-03-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

View from the top,

I have the sudden urge to hack off all my hair. Okay, not all. But yeah, i want it short again. Okay maybe i shouldn't, since my fce just looks rounder when i have short hair. Like a big round ball.

I'm having a quarter-life crisis. Career seminar is next week and i have seriously no idea what i want to be when i grow up. I mean it's so stupid, why ask us to go for career seminars when we have no clue what we wanna be when we grow up. But then again, maybe i'm the only one without a whole life plan/goal shit thing. Is our air stewardess dream thing still on Broughton? Why does the way we think keep changing as we grow older? I mean, why can't we just stick to the decisions we made when our parents asked us as kids "what do you wanna be when you grow up?"? Wouldn't everything be easier that way. I'd be like, at some singing dancing institution now. ( I wanted to be Britney lol. )

Ugh, i dont wanna grow old at all! ): I don't want to have wrinkles (heaven forbid) and frown lines and cellulite and white hair and saggy skin. Ahhh, i think ill go into depression when i reach thirty. ): Not exaggerating! ): (And no i can't be a tai tai and lepak at home everyday)

This week was a crazy crazy crazy week.

Thank you T, for the letter.

Thank you Ena, for yknow. ;D I love you sta sta! And you know i'm hundred percent behind you in whatever decision you make. Those bitches can't touch you. <3

And if you help me sing

I'm gonna tell the whole world

That it's greatest thing that happened to me

I finally found a good reason to come home

2008-03-25T06:50:00.001-07:00

HELLO, guess who i am? I just remembered my password so i decided to blog for you :D HAHAHA. Good luck for your Os alright? Take care girl (:

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2008-03-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

Meet me halfway,

Happy Birthday Audrey AuYong Lyn!
Happy Birthday Tatyana Van der Horst!
Audrey Au! My ex-guitar partner (HAHA), chinese class buddy. I love you dear girl. Primary 6 Honolulu memories, guitar!, chinese classes together. I'll never forget them. Hope you have a great birthday Audrey!
Tatyana (: lollipop partner in crime, cathecism! Secrets ;D Ohh Tat, you know i love you. I hope you get everything you wish for this birthday.

Sleepover at Becky's house was funn. Before that went church visting with her family. I love Gabriel! (: And although we didn't do lot of things we planned, i had a good time Rebekah Broughton! Attack of the killer Woodpeckers Hahaha. I love you, twin-godsister, the most special girl in the world with her face on the bedsheet. :D

What was i thinking when i let you in. Why did i believe that you wouldn't judge me? Why on earth did i trust you. Stop being so hypocritical. On one hand you're telling me what i'm doing is wrong blah blah, but on the other hand you're just as bad. Just because i don't talk to you about it, doesn't mean that i don't know about it. But no more, you can do whatever you please. I'm through.

When a guy tells a girl he'll love her forever he only says it cause his so in love with her.
He doesnt actually know it and he cant promise it.
You cant actually expect a guy to love a girl forever can you.
Thats asking too much of him.
Words of a 16year old boy that i know. Or at least used to.
Aren't guys just ~~sweet~~.

I'm sick of putting all my faith into people,
only to watch them walk away.
If only, you'd look at me and want to stay.
It's sad when you grow up and realize that there will always be that girl who is prettier;
that girl who is more charming;
and that girl who could win him over in the blink of an eye.

For once, i'd like to be beautiful.

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2008-03-08T00:46:00.000-08:00

Pretty ugly,

Ohh al, do you remember in London we bluffed Lianne and becky that our room number was something (i can't remember what) 'cos we didn't want them to know our room was just next to theirs', in case they'd do something bad to us. But then we realised the room number we gace them didn't exist. So we ran around panicking? Haha, i was so happy with you, bestfriend.

You. Maybe then i never really meant what i said when i said i woldn't give a damn about you anymore. It's hard to just stop loving someone who has been playing such an important role in my life. But i'm glad to say that i'm slowly, but surely, living out what i said i'd do then. Now i can look at you without feeling any bit sadder or bitter, for what we've lost, what i've missed out on. No, now i see you for who You really are. Now i look at you, but i really see:
Pathetic.
"When you feel like everything is going the wrong way, i will be here. To make you feel better. I promise"
Do you remember sending me this? I don't know why i haven't deleted it yet, why i bother keeping it. When it's easy to see you've completely forgotten it.

Won't be missing you anymore.

Relationships are worth fighting for,
but not if you're the only one fighting.
Before there can be courage,
there has to be fear.
The thing about jealousy is that
it chews at your soul,
and doesn't stop until you let go.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-03-07T06:14:00.000-08:00

Comfort food,

Sitting in the first row is quite funn really. I now can see everything on the board and hear what teachers are saying. (Mag low's friggin loud woah) I miss Alyssa, Kathleen and Rebekah though. But ohh well.

I hate myself for letting me feel this way about you. For still caring about you, for still loving you. For wondering how you're doing. For trying. Everything.. It's evident that you've moved on, and whatever we had isn't/wasn't important to you. So goodbye. I'm going to learn from the rest, and just stop remembering you.

I'm sorry i let you down. But I won't lie, i don't want to try. Sorry.

Abstain abstain abstainnnnn.

I do believe it's true
that there are roads left in both of our shoes,
but if the silence takes you
then i hope it takes me too.

2008-02-29T07:50:00.000-08:00

You don't understand. I need to get all of this off.

School suckssssssssss. I am going to carry out my drop out of school and be a couch potato that ultimately commits suicide 'cos ill get obese watching tv and eating Lays and Oreos all day plan.

Don't be that note I can't hold.
Don't be that joke
that I told and told until it got old.

Were you ashamed to tell your friends you were dating a fat girl?

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2008-02-28T03:16:00.000-08:00

School is such a bitch.

FOUR THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

One day i'll wear couture.

jing tian shi xing qi liu

2008-02-23T06:40:00.000-08:00

How could such a good thing only last 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 days? ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALESIA GIAN CHIA YEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

One and only spastic penguin, roomate in Chiangmai, liar pig etc etc.

I love youuu, thank you for these 3plus years together. And primary school too, although we weren't that close then. i hope you have a fantastic 16th birthday with **** hee (: <3

Dear you, i'm here if you do/don't need to talk too. Ill always be here (: Thank you for not judging me like so many others and for listening to me time after time after time. Lets go party like its the eighties soon ah :D

Hi bestfriend, short walks and long talks with you are like, awesome dude. HAHA, DUDE! Bet you can take on the boyfriend anyday ;D ;D Love you mostest.

PRETTY EYES (: !!!! ( see its in pink too)

Leong Wen Ge it was fate i tell you, FATE. Not coincidence ;D ;D ;D 3plus 4 years already (Hahahaha)

You always disappoint me. In a way it's kinda like our inside joke, except its not funny. And it gets less and less funny with time. I want to grab you and shake you by the shoulders and yell at you how much i need you now. But no, i can't. 'Cos you don't want to be there in the first place, RIGHT? Silly silly clare.

2008-02-18T04:55:00.000-08:00

With downcast eyes,
there's more to living than being alive.

We always knew that it would come to this.
it's times like these i forget what i miss.
Matters of heart are hard to address,
especially when yours is full of emptiness.

You're too young to be this empty girl.
Iit will prepare you for a sick, dark world.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2008-02-18T04:12:00.000-08:00

Pretty little liars? ,

One day, you'll be the one on the receiving end. And i'll be the one doing the hurting. I'll make sure everything's slow and painful and that you bleed inside and i'll rip you apart. Because i've had it being your doll, i won't let you shove me around anymore. For what it's worth, this time i'm gonna fight. Ohh you selfish bastard i hope you rot in hell.

I'm trying to tell you something. But you don't get it. I need your help. I need you. Maybe you can't see the severity of these situations. Maybe you just don't care? Now don't say that i've not been confiding in you and i've been distant. I reached out, you are the one that turned away.

I need you all around me, all day every day. I need to start to be able to feel safe again. Safe from the world, safe from myself. And i need you to watch out for me and be with me.

I need to keep me away from myself, hah. Monster. Big ugly fat gross monster Clare.

I missed you today.
More than yesterday,
but not nearly as much as I will tomorrow.

2008-02-15T08:20:00.000-08:00

That hurt, didn't it?

jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-02-15T06:54:00.000-08:00

Promise me you'll leave the light on,

Valentine's Day in school was ehmagod super greaaaaaaattttt. Thank you all for the gifts and food and notes etc.
Alesia, Alyssa, Amanda, Amelia, Anne, Anthea, Audrey, Catherine, Cheryl, Constance, Jeremy, Jiaher, Julienne, G, Gladys, Mariah, Marie, Michelle, Rachel Leong, Rachel Yeo, Rebekah, Samantha low, Samantha Woon, Samira, Sharleen, Shalyn, Sheena, Steph, Tatyana, Teachers, Valerie, Vienna, Yanling
Thank you guys. Ohh no i think i'm forgetting people.

And he says baby can we just be friends and moderate this everyday relationship we have.
She says no you fool now your life is mine.
There's no running,
there is nowhere to hide.

Pain is knowing you are right for each other, just not right now.

2008-02-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

If the heart is always searching,

Can you ever find a home?

I've been looking for that someone,

I'll never make it on my own.

Dreams can't take the place of loving you,

There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright,

When you're right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,

I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

How long will I be waiting,

To be with you again

Gonna tell you that I love you,

In the best way that I can.

I can't take a day without you here,

You're the light that makes my darkness disappear.

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright,

When you're right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,

I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

Movin on,

I start to realize,

I can reach my tomorrow,

I can hold my head up high,

And it's all because you're by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright,

When you're right here by my side.

When I hold you in my arms,

I know that its forever.

I just gotta let you know,

I never wanna let you go.

When you look me in the eyes,

And tell me that you love me.

Everything's alright,

When you're right here by my side.

When you look me in the eyes,

I catch a glimpse of heaven.

I find my paradise,

When you look me in the eyes.

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2008-02-09T05:19:00.000-08:00

Start to wonder why you're here not there,

Chinese New Year's almost over! And to tell the truth, i'm ready to go back to school. ( :O ) Been gambling and eating all the unhealthy cny goodies way too much. Which haven't been beneficial at all. I haven't seen the other 2 eskimos in 3 plus days and i'm beginning to miss them. Woah, 3 days only! :p

Okay, so now you know everything. Every secret of myself i've tried to keep. Every problem. Everything; i've laid it all on the line for you. And it fucking scares me, knowing that you have every power to hurt me since you know it all. That i have nothing else, no secret left that you don't know. But i guess i'm willing to take this risk, keeping nothing from you. Tell me i didn't make a huge mistake in letting you in. Tell me you'd never dream of using any of these things against me, to hurt me. Tell me you wouldn't take advantage of my vulnerability, that instead of taking the opportunity to hurt me, you'd help me. Tell me that you'll do the same in letting me in too.

Why does it matter so much you ask. I really have no idea actually. Why do i want to be someone i'm not? How do i explain this. You couldn't possibly understand it anyway, you're perfect.

Don't tell me that you're sorry for what we've become, or what we've failed to be. Don't tell me you'll be there, anymore. Don't tell me that we'll stay friends forever. I've stopped expecting that form you a long time ago. You think it's hard for you to say all that? It's harder to hear it.

So here I am trying to be all heroic and rescue you.
But the truth is, I'm the one who needs to be rescued.
I feel so hopeless.
"Our biggest regrets are not for the things we did - but, for the things we didn't do. Things we didn't say that could've saved someone that we care about. Especially when we can see the dark storm that's headed their way." - Lucas, One tree hill

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2008-02-05T05:44:00.000-08:00

Bet you didn't know! (;

Hahaha *in british/aussie/hot guy accent* gabby, Souja boy! Like, what the freshhh? HAHAHA fresh you, you freshing racist freshface.

We in the club saying, Ay bay bayyyy!

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN

2008-02-03T05:47:00.000-08:00

Paint you a picture,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE LIAU MY DEAREST FLOWERPOT (: <3

Had a mini surprise cake birthday thing, for Steph in the morning. Hilarious la Rach, the way you lit the candles and blew them out. And Alyssa's crawling on the floor. AND, Steph's unglam blur face. HAHA

4/3 Self awareness camp 2008
Had a praying session first before school. And after assembly we took class pictures with Mrs Low (: Then we left school for the IJ youth Centre place in Upper Bukit Timah.

After all the briefings and all our unpacking, was the first session. AHHH, the most crying session. :p

Anne, Danella and i left during lunch for our tennis competition. Haha, we had a hard time getting a cab (stupid cab stealers!). And getting to Acs international cos we had no idea where it was. But we did eventually. I GOT TO MEET ELIZABETH NAIR. (: (: Who i haven't seen in 4659672741 million years. You hardcore havoc teeny tiny thingy. (: Match got postponed 'cos of rain, what a waste of time!

Then more sessions and mass. Which was so funny ;D

Dinner was good, 14 pizzas? Van and Dan and Anne the ultimate pizza eaters. Gill and i pick pineapples. Hahaha. After dinner was bath time, and michelle and kimberly were being perverts! Then then it was the games!!

(okay i cant be bothered to type like this anymore)

-DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS! (:

-Watermelon, longans and oranges game. Woah funn like anything la.

-Annes "My life as a frog" Video. It will be on youtube soooon. :D HEH

-PICCHHAARRRSSS

-Chair games and ass grabbing

-Our horrible mad crazy class meeting

-Grapes fest in the kitchen with Becky and Mishy

-Lights out

-MISH AND CLARES COMPLAINING AND HEART TO HEARTS. (HAHAHAHA ;D)

-Scary noises, ugh.

-Food comm had to wake up at 530 = 4hours of sleep ):

-Peanut butter sandwiches!

-More sessions

-4/3 yu sheng!!!! minus the main ingredients. HAHAHA :D

-More sessions

-BYE BYE ):

All in all, camp was super dee duper awesome possum. Thanks 4/3 for everything. The laughs and the tears. Yay, i love you 4/3!

And i love my bestfriend. The bestest bestfriend in the whole wide world.

2008-01-31T00:19:00.000-08:00

It's february. I have 29 days more.
GASP.

2008-01-28T09:10:00.000-08:00

True strength is holding it all together when everyone else expects you to fall apart.

Failure - noun
-an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success.
-a person or thing that proves unsuccessful.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2008-01-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Come and get me,

Happy Birthday Vanessa Gay!

Happy Birthday Samira Shah!

Happy Birthday Widya!

We played Nanyang girls today. Overall won 3-2.

Yesterday was Val's confirmation. I had a good, veryyyy funn day yesterday (:

Give up, give in. It's so stupid, i feel like giving up and ending everything. Stop trying, stop doing everything. 'Cos what benefit would i gain out of all this anyway? Would i necessarily be any happier?

But no, i can't and won't let myself stop. Not now.

So tell me, is this how we're really going to be? Sharing stolen glances, never really saying how we feel, pretending we don't know each other? If that's the case, then i'm sorry we fell out. I'm sorry what we had wasn't worth enough to either of us to fight for.

And, sorry Danella, it was my fault. All of it.

imy,

Nothing shines as bright as Times Square (:

2008-01-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

Oh my fuck,

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-01-18T04:41:00.000-08:00

Maybe we're trying. trying too hard

Dan: Last time i checked, i still owe you a black eye. So unless this is you coming to claim it, stay away from her.

I heart dan (: i think we all should have a i-hate-jenny party. Seriously. >:(

Today was a good day. Becky and i spent all our lessons looking at recipes for cupcakes. We're gonna make 6 different types of cupcakes for chinese new year. (: And Audrey Auyong is such a party girl ;D

I'm so disappointed with myself. I know this year's like, a really crucial year. And yet all i can think about is completely frivolous things like food, clothes, when the next teenvogue's coming out etc etc. There's this nagging voice in my head telling me put all this shit behind you for another 11months, and just get your act together. but i have no idea why, it's so hard to do just that. Grrr, i'm so angry with myself. but it's no use feeling angry with myself, when i'm not doing anything to change.

I'm sorry i've been avoiding everything lately. I guess i'm afraid of what the outcome would be. I guess i'm afraid of i don't know, trusting people and finding out everyone's just talking bout me behind my back and winding up getting hurt. I need to know, that you still want this to work, yknow? 'cos how can i be there for you, when you're not even there. And i'm sorry, sometimes i expect more from you, too much even, because i guess i'd be willing to go through that much for you too.

And all of you, haha bet you didn't know that i know, and that i have always known, about everything you guys you say about me. I never expected this from ya'll.

Shut up leong, your thighs look close to non-existant there. >:(

Jealousy is an accessory attached to the heart.

People don't change;

they just find new ways of lying to you.

I need you.

~~I don't know why~~, but every now and then in my life,

for no reason at all,

I need you.

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2008-01-17T06:58:00.001-08:00

I'm gonna fail monday's lit test. I can't get anything at all into my head. There's too little Jem and Dill and too much Bob. >:( ):

Thank you Rachael lye, for today's lunch-gossip/bitching session. Love you alot alot alot. I can't believe i found myself telling you so many things i wouldn't have thought of saying aloud to anyone. Secrets ah secrets (: (CRAMMSS wahahahaha)

RLWG!! In the end, it's always the old friends, you find yourself going back to. Friends that have been with you since way back. Friends that know you better than you know yourself. Yay for Leong <3

Hey you, you think it's easy for me to watch you go away?

It's never easy to understand why memories hold our hand,

and people let go.

When you're down, i might not be able to pick you back up,

but i promise

i'll be more than willing to lay down right next to you. (this one's for Rach :D)

note to self: i lost you.

2008-01-13T06:29:00.000-08:00

I wanna be,

The last number you call late at night (said I wanna be),

The first one that you dial when you open your eyes.

Wanna be the one you run to,

wanna be the one that ain't gonna hurt you

,I wanna be yeah, I wanna be

2008-01-12T07:35:00.000-08:00

I dont care what they say, i'm in love with you

Tom: ur quite the pretty one arent u hollz
Awww, so sweet holly dolly.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLADYS SEAH WAN TYNG THE GREAT!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAEL EDWARDS!
<3

Hey you, cheer up okay? I'm sure they didn't mean to do/say those things. But whatever it is, yknow, ill always hear you out right? Love you, and i miss you.

RACHEL LEONG CAN WE GO SHOP SOON.

If your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme.

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2008-01-05T05:17:00.000-08:00

And please,

Oh my god did you just hear, lies are coming back in style.
Dear you, thank you for hearing me out. (: I dont care how much you tease me and all, i just love you for listening and gossiping and talking and everything! :D We'll make it there right? Yay us!

I wish our holiday never ended. That we'd still be in New York away from all of this. It was so much happier for me then, when i didn't think of you or any of this at all. Ugh. And, i wanna see pretty pretty white snow again. I hate singapore.

I HATE YOU.

2008-01-04T08:15:00.000-08:00

And I die when you mention her name. And I lied, I should have kissed you when we were running in the rain. I die when she comes around to take you home. I'm too shy, I should have kissed you when we were alone.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2008-01-04T06:03:00.000-08:00

Keep keep bleeding love,

School has started!! Yay, im so so so happy Mrs Low is our form teacher, and that Nandar's finalllyyyy gone. And i'm stuck with Al and Rebekah for most classes :D Ah, we're no more sec 3/3. It's 4/3 now. Ahhh, we're the oldest oldest in school ):

You hypocrite. I hate you. Who are you to tell me what i'm doing is "wrong", who are you to judge me. How dare you brand and label me when you're exactly the same. Hah, we'll see who wins ultimately. Bitch, all of you.

Tatttttttttt ): ): ):

I wonder if you'll come back, but I only have trust that you'll leave.
See there’s a feeling on the inside that says,
I don’t want you to be better off without me.
It scared me to realize how easy
it was to become the very person you never wanted to be.

Getting there, almost there, won't stop till i'm there.

2008-01-01T02:41:00.000-08:00

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

No, despite what you think I don't have a fucking problem.
I'm gonna show you that i can do this.

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2008-01-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Its all in good form,

New years eve/ New years day was the bestest bestest funnest happiest funniest stupidest new year i have ever had. Thank you Audrey, Constance, Dewi, Samira, Vanessa and Vienna for celebrating with me. (:
- Barbequeing with Cons and Sam. And burning half the food. HAHA, chicken pig cow!

- "Look to the sky its coool!" ;D

- Pizza pizza!

- GOSSIP (all that sex) , truth or dare :O

- drinks eh cons ;D

- Cam whore cam whore cam whore cam whore cam whore cam whore

- Play ground and staircases, pose ah pose!

- Peach juice and chocolates hahaha

- Samira's "chiong!"

- Our brilliant idea to spread the joy to other houses! :D

- Scaryyy make up, eyeliner and bright red lipstick

- "Knock knock knock. Happy new year!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

- Aud's security guard Haha

- Hotel Royal

- Condo next door HAHAHA, swimming pool and playground

- The thirteen video(s), outtakes! :D :D <3

- COUNTDOWN(S) and calls!

- Twister

- Cam whore cam whore cam whore cam whore cam whore

Haha, i'm too lazy to fill in the details. Thanks again for the good good new years. Wouldn't have wanted to spend it any other way (:

I love the thirteen.

2007-12-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

Ehmagoddddd its two thousand and eight.

Highlights of 2007
- Getting into 3/3 and getting to know so many people better. Namely Anne, Doralyn, Gillian, Michelle, Tiara, Valerie
-Oddyssey of the mind
- Uk trip
- Birthday
- Any Bestfriend talks :D
- Baking dates and one tree hill marathons with Becky
- Stair case (:
- Chiangmai trip
- Confirmation Camp and Confirmation
- Holiday to New York and Toronto
- NEW YEARS EVE WOO HOOO

This year, i got to know who my real friends were from the, not-so-real ones. People that promise to be there and really are there when you're at your lowest as compared to those that just provide lipservice but never really carry out their promises. Sure, hanging out with the latter is funn, but in the end it's the real friends that really have your back, and they're the ones that i find myself turning to.

2007 was a scary year. Being apart from 2.1 after two years together was really hard. And i'll still give anything to have 2.1 back. For all of us to be in the same class again. For us to go back to the nights in the chalet. That second day in the chalet was really one of the best days of my life, for one of the rare occassions, i really felt loved. And now it's been more than a year since we've had a lesson together and it's so frightening how fast time has past.

2007 was a year of change, learning, loss, and ultimately growing up . It's funny because none of us ever want to grow up and get older (wrinkles, ehmagod), but it happens right in front of our eyes whether we want to or not and it's up to us to make use of time, or to waste it all away. It's odd how time just keeps moving forward with or without us and just like that, a whole year has gone. It still amazes me how fast these 365 days past. One year ago we were at Meishi's party, and now it's 2008.

Thanks those that made my year great. I hope 2008 will be a good year for everyone.

2007-12-30T07:56:00.000-08:00

Don't say this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be, over and over

We could be, forever

I'll have you know I'm scared to death

Tell me once again

That you'll love me to the death

And should I die, you swear that you will come for me

As I fade away, you reach out your hand

And please don't let me go

Jing tian shi xing qi tian

2007-12-30T00:08:00.000-08:00

Lose myself in all these fights,

Retro party last night. It was a very funn night. Everyone looked very very very hot. Especially Sherman the rock star sex god limbo king. HAHAHA.

Met Jeremy first, then went to meet William and Vanessa and the rest of the guys. Then it was off to the party :D

Afro hair, polka dots, sherman!, hdb block, dancing, Vanessa Vienna and Clarissa's coordinated dance moves, pictures!, feathers, oversized shades, sexxxy, Baby #1 Baby #2 CFC

Yesterday was a good day :D (Tat you so should've been there)

The "call me" song is stuck in my head. >:(

Arghhh, i can't find my cable. So now i can't upload pictures ):

Uh oh, we're in trouble. Mishy know's another of my secrets. :O Pretty eyes, you wont say anything right? I trust you okay, thanks for everything. For talking to me and all, cos i have no idea who else to talk to bout this. Hah. I love you pretty eyes.

Bestfriend ): I miss you. We'll talk soon, definitely.

Sometimes you kiss someone

and you know right then and there

that's who you want to kiss

for the rest of your life.

I never stopped loving you, I just stopped showing it.

He doesn't give me sparks.

Oh no, he gives me a whole fireworks show. :D

CRANK DAT CALVARY BOY

2007-12-28T06:37:00.000-08:00

Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long

I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

<3

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-12-28T05:29:00.000-08:00

I'd do anything, just to fall asleep with you,

^Haha, van!

You're like a timeless song. One that i'll never get tired of hearing. One that stirs up warm feelings and makes me think of only good days and happy thoughts. (: Despite us having being apart from each other for so long, you always find a way to "come back". Thank you for the mini talk. I love you, it was so good hearing your voice again.
COWARD.
It's Retro party tomorrow :O

Click my heals three times.
Take me anywhere but here.
Whisper the words.
Let's see this clearly.
This is all that remains, so what more can you take?

As contagious as sin and you're gone.
Did you really want to know what I was about?
Did you really want to know?
Please your feelings out loud (don't fade away).
Blinded by the light, taking it over.
Your silhouette carries me home.

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-12-27T06:08:00.000-08:00

Sit and pick apart your pictures,

Converstion with Alyssa, Amanda, Lianne, Rebekah and Valerie ( Brocollis, boobs, homework, i am legend, toilets, geylang fish porridge, hookers, pulau ubin seafood, christmas, study sessions, overseas, road trips, disneyland, afghanistan, universal studios, fireworks, canteen, birthday, funerals, dying naked, floating and gliding, cloud houses in heaven, looks, toilet machines eeew, makeup ) It's making me like, miss school. Before classes, in between classes and recess and all. Ehmagod these losers can really make me feel so much better. (:

Manda says:
When you go to heaven, you have to fill out an application form first
Manda says:
and tick all your preferences
Manda says:
like what clothes, where you wanna live etc
Manda says:
COOL RIGHT

Favourite part of the convo. Thian Wen Ling, clap clap clap!

Today was spent with Miss Rebekah Broughton. I had ah-lot ah-lot of funn (: I love you twin. Shopping escapades again soon!

I sick of being jealous all the time. Ugh.

It's a terrible feeling; having to doubt something you once thought was unquestionable.

Jing tian shi xing qi san

2007-12-25T19:12:00.000-08:00

Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rock,

Shaun: How many letters are there in the alphabet?

Clarissa: 26

Shaun: Why is it that during christmas there are only 25?

Clarissa: I give up.

Shaun: Cos, NOEL NOOOOOOOOELLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOELLLLLLLL NOEELLLL.

Ehmagod, loser! Hahaha it was good seeing you again after 17364859673659 million years :D

Christmas night was spent at Anastasia Goana's house. It was a funny funny night :D i love you ena! The bimbo with the pink-est room ever and the barbie bedspread. And ehmagod, Tommy is soooo cute. Ah (:

Merry christmas!

I only wanted to be everything that she was to you.

The best one

Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on the one person who will never be there for them.

2007-12-24T00:33:00.000-08:00

Brooke: I wanted you to fight for me, I wanted you to say that there is no one else you could ever be with and you'd rather be alone than without me.

Got this from ena's blog.

List 10 things that you'd like to do now
1. Go shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue again, with daddy's credit card
2. Meet Alyssa for a bestfriend talk at the Esplanade
3. Watch Wicked the musical with the Tenners
4. Call Meishi Koon and Rachael Lye
5. Relive every memory i've shared with Rachel Leong
6. Go to Disneyland
7. Meet McFLY
8. Be with Jeremy
9. Chalet with the rest of 2.1 2006
10. Go for liposuction

List 10 random things you do
1. I don't wipe dry my face, i pat it dry
2. I like looking at good looking girls on friendster
3. I kiss my bear goodnight every night
4. I moisturise yay
5. I read ah-lot of celeb gossip?
6. I laugh alot in class?

Hahaha, i dont know!

List 10 friends that mean the most to you
1. Clique
2. Jeremy
3. Tenners
4. The thirteen
5. Ij Tennis b div
6. Rachael that gang plus the guys haha
7. The rest of 2.1 2006
8. 3.3 2007
9. Tatyana Van Der Horst

List 10 people you miss now
1. Alyssa Lim
2. Jeremy Tan
3. Rachel Leong
4. Rachael Lye
5. Valerie Lim
6. Meishi Koon
7. Anastasia Goana
8. Rebekah Broughton
9. Marie Lee
10. Michelle Liew

List 10 things you want to have
1. Good o levels results next year
2. A pretty face, a thin body
3. Ray Ban Wayfarers in black
4. Victorias Secret lingerie
5. Kate Spade navy suede 'Party' rhinestone flats
6. Dougie Poynter
7. Lanvin Pearl and folded satin necklace
8. MARC by Marc Jacobs Sleeveless Shift Dress
9. Juicy Couture Pleated Chiffon and Jersey Dress
10. Serena and Blair of Gossipgirl's wardrobes

So fast how you forget. I mean, did nothing we had mean anything worth remembering at all? Just when someone new comes into the picture, you forget those that were there long ago? And so, when you said you loved me, you meant "you mean nothing to me"?
And you, grow up. Everything doesn't always revolve only around you.

It's so fucking scary how fast 2007 passed by. Like, the year's almost over already but it feels like, only half of it has passed. Two One hasn't been Two One for a year already. ):

Alyssa Lim Pei Ning, get back.

Haley: Nathan, your problems are my problems, I want us to figure this out together. And you're wrong, you're my hero.
Lucas: Brooke, I never meant to hurt you.
Brooke: That doesn't really matter Lucas, cause in the end it all hurts just the same.
Nathan: Haley, no matter what happens we'll face it together and I promise you, I've never been happier. Everything's going to be okay and I love you.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-12-23T21:59:00.000-08:00

An angry bullet,

I am back. ): Stupid Singapore. Ehmagod it's so damn hot, and sunny and ughhhh horrible! >:( I miss the cold weather, and all that pretty SNOW. ):

Day #1
-Plane ride to Germany, transit to New York
-Alyssa and i couldnt sleep so we took ah-loy of photos with her stylo new camera B-)
-The nice stewardness gave me a blossom toy.
-Stayed at Grand Hyatt, which was next ti the Chrysler building and Grand Central station (Yes, the Serena Grand Central Station :D )
-Went walk walk-ing around park avenue
-Dinner at TGIF which was next to Grand Central, also next to Dunkin donuts :D

Day #2
-Grand Central Station for breakfast
-Took the very confusing subway to Battery Park
-Staten Island ferry!
-Statue of Liberty, Manhatten sky line
-Walked down Wall Street
-World Trade Centre Site. ): World Trade Centre Museum ):
-Chinatown, gah.
-Tribecca, SoHo
-TIMES SQUARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :OOOO
-Hersheys factory
-Huge M'n'ms store
-TRL
-Mtv Store
-Toys'r'us, which has rides in it. Like ehmagoddd.
-Rockefeller centre
-Daddy's Cole Haan shop
-Dunkin Donuts :D

Day #3
-Walked to Port Authority at around 7
-Took a 1hour bus ride out of NYC to Woodsbury Common a shopping outlet that has practically, everything. :D :D :D :D :D! <3>
-Whole day there :D :D :D

Day #4
-Breakfast at small pershing cafe under the bridge, Waffles! (:
-Subway to Museum of Natural History, spent the day there
-At night Daddy and i went shopping at 5th Avenue
-Cartier, ah-mazing deco
-Fendi
-Ferragarmo!!!! <3
-Abercrombie and Fitch,
there was a real live male model at door with his shirt off. Ehmagodddd!
-Jude Law lookalike! :O
-Walked past a place where Gossipgirl was filmed, Serena's house!

Day #5
-Buffet Breakfast at hotel
-Walked to Empire state building, went all the way up (:
-United Nations! Insanely cool. :D :O
-Walked to Rockefeller Centre
-Went to NBC Studios :O
-Saw how Saturday Night Live was filmed :D
-Shopping at night with mummy

Day #6
-Walked throught Times Square :D
-Wanted to buy tickets for a musical but all were sold out. ): ): ): ):
-Walked to Central park, pretty pretty (:
-It started to Hail and then snow and then rain :O :O :O (:
-F.A.O Schrawz Toy store, ahhhhh! :D
-Bergdorf Goodman ;D
-Shopping at 5th Avenue :D :D
-Gap, Banana Republic, Abercrombie, Disney Store :D
-SAKS FIFTH AVENUE <3 <3 Bestest bestest bestest!
-Lunch at Grand Central station, Mac and cheese! (:
-Weird man. Eeeeeeewwwwwww.
-Walked through times square again
-Ripleys believe it or not museum like thing! Super funn :D
-Japanese food for dinner

Day #7
-Breakfast at small Pershing cafe under the bridge, waffles! (:
-SEPHORA!!!!!!!!! :DD Benefit makeup is so much cheaper there.
-Last walk down Park Avenue ):
-Off to Newark Airport
-My bag was the only one that was overweight, ehmagod. Gah >:(
-Mummy (on plane): "Ohh my goodness, wow Canada's so cold. Look at all the big ice blocks"
Alyssa: "Mummy they are CLOUDS"
-TORONTO, CANADA

Day #8
-Snow snow snow
-Unlce Hazey yokohoma guy :D drove us to Niagara falls, fucking cold.
-Stopped by some wine tasting/brewery place
-Uncle Robins house
-Jake, Nina, Ella, Coco :D :D
-Seaside! Froze.
-Korean Restaurant for dinner

Day #9
-SNOW STORM, snowed in ): :O
-Shovelled the sidewalk, driveway
-Snowball fights!! Clare and Gerald vs Alyssa, Daddy, Mummy
-Lunch at the mall 5mins away
-Stayed home

Day #10
-Drove around town
-Lunch with Uncle Christopher, Uncle Robin, Jake and Coco :D
-Went to the snowboarding, skiing slopes place for toboganning, But the toboganning part was closed ):
-Farm place, fudge! :D

Day #11
-Went to park for toboganning :D :D :D , so scary but so funnnn!
-Vietnamese lunch with Uncle Bernard
-Rest of the day OUTLET SHOPPING (:
-LaSenza! (its a canadian brand i found out. So cheap. Hahaha)
-RIBS for dinner :D!!

Day #12
-Uncle Bernard sent us to train station to catch the 9.08 train to downtown Toronto
-Walk walk
-Hockey Hall of fame
-CN tower, taller than empire state building :O
-TRISTAN :D <3
-Walked along the path, this underground passage connecting malls
-Daddy and his Armani
-SHOPPING FOR THE REST OF THE DAY :D :D
-Met Auntie jane and Uncle Hazey for dinner
-My maroon super cute minicooper <3
-Gerald's Strip club ;D
-Starbucks!

Day #13
-Uncle Bernard cut my hair, gerald's and mummy's too (:
-Supermarket shopping -.-
-Dim sum. Eeeew.
-SQUARE ONE for shopping :O huuuugggee.
-Gap, Old Navy, M.A.C, H&M <3, Sunglasses hut
-Calvin Klein Jeans jacket for fifty dollars and Gerald didnt wanna get it. DUMB ASS
-Tila Tequila! ;DD Friends re-runs

Day #14
-Shopping at Costco -.-
-Maple syrup, mac and cheese instant packets thingy, lifesavers (:
-Packing up time
-Steamboat dinner
-Alyssa, Clare and Gerald's drinking game :X :DD Hahahaha!
-American Pie Band Camp. ;D HAHA!

Day #15
-Final shopping at Square One
-Aeropostale, H&M, Calvin Klein, Club Monaco, Hmv
-Aaron Cabawatan lookalike :O :O :O :O!!!!!
-Final packing ):
-Auntie Jane and Uncle Hazey sent us to the airport to go back to SINGAPORE ): ):
-My bag was not overweight this time :D! (We went to NYC with 6 bags and left with 10 HAHAHA)
-The hot guys on the plane, shhhh alyssaaa hahaha! ;D
-LONDON, Heathrow :D <3 transit
-Singapore. >:( ): ):

Ah, i can't believe the holiday is over. And our school holidays are ending in like, less than a week. I wish i didn't have to come back. Ohh man, i haven't finished school homework! GAH. ): 2008's almost here. O's next year. Everything's gonna change next year ): No more screwups.

I think it's completely unfair how some girls seem to have it all. And it's like they don't have to even try. Beauty, brains, wealth, everything. It's not fair. Ugh, i'm tired of looking at them and keep being jealous. For once, i wish i could be like that, like them. Ugh, christmas wish.

Ehmagod, it's christmas eve. = It's Christmas tomorrow!!!! YAY :D Exciting, exciting. Hopefully the presents are goood too. Please daddy get me that white leather Jimmy choo bag or that Jeremy Laing sweater.
Merry Christmas!

2007-12-16T13:28:00.000-08:00

In Toronto now! And we're snowed in, can't go out to do anything so we're stuck at home ): But it's really really pretty here. (: I don't wanna come back!

MEISHI KOON!!!! Cheena, everytime i read your letter, i really really feel like, 104759673659674 times better. Your letter has helped me through some really fucked up days here man. Thanks cheena. I love you so much, and i know, out of evryone i can count on you no matter what.

VALERIE LIM IS COMING TO MEET ME IN TORONTO SOON. YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY :D

Tatyanaaaaa! Ehmagod lollipop partner in crime with our wondergirl shoes. I had no idea we had so much in common really (HAH ;D) We need to get together to talk soon.

I MISS MY BESTFRIEND BAD ):

2007-12-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

Dear Girl,
I realize now that it's over for us

and I wish to say that every moment spent with you

was like a dream come true.

It'll be hard to go back out into the world without you,

but I know that you loved me and that I loved you.

Somewhere along the lines,

we ran out of the spark we once had,

and it's really hard to say goodbye.

But know this,

everyday from here on in,

you'll be the girl that everyone gets compared to,

and I hope that one day I find someone just as great as we once were

and I hope that the two of us will never run out of that spark.

You will always remain my first love.
Goodbye,
Boy

Dear Boy,

I'm moving in a couple of days

and I was packing up all the boxes

when I noticed a letter that you sent to me five years ago.

I decided to read it and cried.

Because you were the one other boys got compared to,

and it was hard to find the next best boy for me.

But, I did after five long years,

and we still have that spark with us.

I hope you've found the girl for you,

and both of you will have the same spark we once had.

I wish you all the best.

You will always remain my first love.

Goodbye and Good luck,

Girl

Ehmagod, so sad!!! ):

Jing tian si xing qi si

2007-12-06T04:01:00.000-08:00

Better lay off the booze, boozey

Alyssa and i had a mini bestfriend-talk just now. Thanks bestfriend, you make me feel so happy. I know that out of everyone i can always count on you (: And you know i'll never ever leave you 'cos you're my bestfriend and i love you! Have fun in London and Paris you lucky bitch, i'll see you soon. Take care alright? I'll miss you mostest, bestest.

It's funny how so much has changed in one year. That in 365 days we went from so close, to so distant. I see myself fading slowly from your life, and bit by bit becoming less and less important to you. Maybe next year i'll completely cease to being your friend? If you can call what we are now, friends. I know i said i've got your back forever, and that still stands. But what about your ~~empty~~ promises? Perhaps it's good that i'm going away for awhile, i won't be in touch with anyone here and it'll be much easier to not think of you. So there, that's the good in goodbye.

I admit, i'm scared and i'm hurt. I'm fucking terrified that slowly i'll be replaced. It wouldn't be the first time and now, I can see it happening again already. I'm hurt, maybe you don't know what you're doing but your words and actions really fucking hurt me, okay. And if one day you realise that we don't talk anymore like we used to. It's not because i don't care or don't have time for you. It's because you pushed me away.

So long, farewell. Will be back on the 24th. Have a Merry Christmas everyone.
Clique especially; Alesia, Alyssa, Amanda, Anne, Anthea, Catherine, Gladys, Julienne, Lianne, Rebekah, Samantha, Valerie. Take care ya'll. <32.1 2006 chalet again soon. I'm needing us together again.

And you, take care. No opening presents till midnight alright (: I love you, and i'll miss you. ): But you'll be hiding in my suitcase right?

Mouth: i could kiss you forever, but i know i'm not good enough.
-One tree hill
What's the point of even saying goodbye,
when you know they won't miss you?
The worst thing about being lied to,
is knowing you're not worth the truth.
Let me know you'll never let me go and i'll fight like hell, to be held on to.

Jing tian shi xing qi san

2007-12-05T05:39:00.000-08:00

Stop, drop, roll

I know that I can't take back all of the mistakes

but I will try

although it's not easy I know you believe me

cause I would not lie

don't believe their lies, told from jealous eyes

they don't understand (I'm sorry)

I won't break your heart, I won't bring you down,

but I will have to say;

I'm sorry, it's all that I can say

you mean so much and I'd fix all that I've done,

if I could start again

I'd throw it all away, to the shadows of regrets

and you would have the best of me.

I know, just a bunch of lyrics probably won't be enough. But yeah, i want you to know that i'm really sorry. ): I didn't mean to upset you or make you angry. Just so you know, when he was saying all those things, all i could think of was : he's not you. I'm sorry. I know i can't keep upsetting you and expecting you to forgive me just like that, but yeah. I'm sorry babe. And, i love you, only you.

My other 2 eskimos, i miss ya'll. ):

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2007-12-04T06:30:00.000-08:00

Everyday, from right now

Shopping today with Miss Anastasia Klaudia Goana, the bimbo and shopping-partner-at-Heathrow (: Met her at Paragon first to shop shop shop. Then we went to taka, to continue. Next we had lunch at some Thai restaurant upstairs, where we talked about everything under the sun. And then we went to Cine to buy tickets for the 2.50 Enchanted show. We both watched it before already, but Patrick Dempsey was too cute to resist! :D HAHA. We had time to kill till the movie started so we decided to go to Heeren to take NEOPRINTS. (Eh ena, i just realised Cine has neoprints too! HAHA) Somehow, we took like, reallllllyyyyyyyyyy long time to take our neoprints 'cos by the time we were almost done it was 315 already and our movie had started. HAHA, so we rushed back. But instead of going into the cinema for the 250 show, we sneaked into the cinema for the 330 one. So we didn't miss any of the movie at all! :D HAHA, that was damn funny la right Ena. After the movie, we went shopping again. (:

Thank you Ena, for spending today with me. I had the bestest time reliving all our shopping memories at Heathrow! And cam-whoring in the toilet, and taking photos with the Christmas decorations. Ohh ohh and, CHANEL MANNEQUINS. HAHAHA :D I love you my dearest sta sta!

I think there's nothing worse than to be surrounded by people who are supposed to be there for you, and yet feel so completely isolated. Like how, everyone writes to you and say "I'll always be there for you" and yet when you really need someone to "be there for you", they disappear. So from now on, i won't even for a second think of counting on you.

A***, i'm gonna be strong for you. I won't give in this time, never again.
80 80 80 80 80 80.

If I could, I'd lay in bed with you from morning 'til night and fall alseep in your arms,
knowing I'll always be safe with you.
I'm done trying.
I've tried, and I've tried, and I'm done trying,
it's just not worth it anymore.
If you don't care, then I won't bother.
I've searched and searched for the perfect explanation of this feeling.
It's in between "i hate you" and "why did you leave me".

2007-12-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

"Well it's no use you're talking about waking him," said Tweedledum, "when you're only one of the things in his dream. You know very well you're not real."
"I am real!" said Alice, and began to cry.
"You won't make yourself any realer by crying," Tweedledee remarked: "there's nothing to cry about."
"If i wasn't real," Alice said-half laughing through her tears, it all seemed so ridiculous,-"I shouldn't be able to cry."
"I hope you don't think those are real tears?" Tweedledee interrupted in a tone of great contempt.

-Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

I want my 80
Christmas is coming up. It would be the bestest present ever if i get my eighty. And i ~~will~~ have to get it.

Money; since when was it ever about money? Isn't it just plain superficial and stupid that our relationship revolves around money. I mean, how dumb is that? Its just money. And i wish you could see that.

I know what you're thinking; taunting me, "i'm skinnier than you, i'm prettier, i'm richer, i'm smarter, my life's better, i've got nicer clothes, cuter bags, better hair" And yeah, i admit, you're winning. I can't compete, i give up.

I wish someone would take a knife and cut out my face.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-12-02T23:16:00.000-08:00

Your discreet obsession,

The One Word Survey.
Answer with the first word that comes to your mind only, no explanations.

1. Yourself: Failure

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend: Jeremy

3. Your hair: Bangs

4. Your Mother: Pretty

5. Your Father: Money

6. Your Favorite Item: Bear

7. Your dream last night: FUNNY

8. Your Dream Home: Girly

9. The Room You Are In: Mine

10. Favorite colour: Pink

11. Your fear: Fat

12. Where do you want to be in ten years?: Perfect

13. Who you hung out with last night: Myself

14. What You’re Not: Skinny

15. Your Best Friend: Ah-mazing

16. One of Your Wish List Items: 80

17. Your Gender: Female

18. The Last Thing You Did: Scratched

19. What You Are Wearing: Black

20. Your Favorite Weather: Spring

21. The Last Thing You Ate: Beef

22. Your Life: Stupid

23. Your Mood: Frightened

24. Who are you: Fat

Okay, i know i should so start packing but somehow i just can't bring myself to. Everyone else has started except me. Ohh well, maybe i should just forget to bring ah-lot of stuff and go there and buy :D And now i'm checking out all the good restaurants in New York. Scoping out what to eat. Mac and cheese, i'm coming for you. Haha, pig.

Ehmagod, Agyness's hair is so damn sexxxy. Ah, i feel like chopping off all my hair now. Bye bye bangs. Haha! She's so hot, i swear she makes me wanna turn male. :O :D

Shopping with Miss Goana tomorrow. I can't wait (:

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN

2007-12-01T07:55:00.000-08:00

Well look who's dying now,

Band night yesterday. Met Rebekah Broughton at coffeebean before that first to catch up and all. Talked about everything, from con camps to Disneyland to lip-ring guys. Ehmagod, it's good to have Broughton back! I missed you twin, so fucking much. And talking with you made me realise how much i missed you. ): Haha, anyway you're back so that's gooood. And thank you for the gifts! :D <3

Mish joined us for awhile before meeting Aaron the pig. Then Thian came. And we talked awhile more before going to get flowers. (Emmanuel, Glenn and Samuel owe me kaching kaching haha :D) Then met Anne, Tiara and Val. After that met Jeremy, William and their friends and went to school for the concert. It was nice seeing everyone again, after school ended and Chiangmai's gone.

Thanks mish for hearing me complain and whine about so much. Haha.

I love you bestfriend. Seeing you makes me happy (:

Sometimes pain becomes such a big part of your life that you expect it to always be there. Because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't.
-One tree hill
Seems like everything we knew,
Turned out were never even true.
Don't trust, things will ever change.
You must be dreaming.
I think destiny might have it out for me.
cause it always seems to tease me with the best things,
and then rip them away.

Fatass.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-11-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Mean these words,

Band night tomorrow! All the best band people (;
Alyssa, Clarise, Meishi, Paula, Roslyn, Shalyn especially. I know ya'll will do great. <3

Ehmagod, the three days of intensive trainings are over. YAYYYY! gabby and clare are the most wonderful not at all lethargic doubles partners. (: Souja boy and ay bay bay! WOOO :D

Wouldn't it be ironic
if at this very moment you were thinking of me,
Like how Im thinking of you?

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-11-29T06:44:00.000-08:00

I Hate tennis i hate tennis i hate tennis i hate tennis i hate tennis.

Rebekah Broughton and Anastasia Goana are back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally have the chiangmai pictures. YAYYY :D

Hello BOY (: This is my, er boyfriend :D Imy imy,

You know it's love when the tiny details
about another person;
the ones that seem insignificant to most people
seem incredible and magnificent to you.

That knock-your-socks-off kiss :D

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2007-11-27T02:03:00.000-08:00

We just, don't talk

I just got a message from Anastasia who is in Petra now. Wherever that is! Haha.

"Clare in New york sounds very nice and it seems extremely fitting!" "Its the one and only name that fits New York so well" She says. HAHA that's so funny :D Ena's coming home soon. YAY we'll be going shopping together soon :D

New York in 10 days. Ehmagod it's so so so exciting! Barneys and Bergdorfs and Empire State

Building and Rockefeller Centre and Lady Liberty and Outlet shopping and SNOW! I can't wait to say bye bye to singapore. :D

Band night's this saturday and i have absolutely nothing to wear! ): Mishy, what are you wearing? Haha!

Ohh, yay i just got another message from ena.

"The airport sucks here okay. Oh my god. I had to carry seven luggages on my own cause my siblings are useless and my mum says she doesnt want to carry anything! Gah!"

HAHA anastasia hurry come back home ive got loads to tell you. :D

I feel like opening a box of chocolate cookies and stuffing my face. I feel like scarffing down a tub of Ben and Jerrys Choc chip cookie dough. But no i can't, cos im not like those blessed bitches that don't get fat despite how much they eat. >:( It was never like this before. I mean, there used to be a time when i didn't care what and how much of it i ate. I used to have icecream sandwiches everyday after school with Rachel ehmagod. And those days seemed so much happier. ): Ehmagod, since when did i start letting food dictate my happiness. :O

My dearest Rebekah Broughton would you get your ass back here. I don't care how much you're enjoying strip shows in las Vegas or Donald Duck in Disneyland. I miss you like fuck twin, we haven't baked in forever. Come back ):

Dear best thing that has happened to me,

We have yet to watch Bratz together. I think we won't get the chance to la. ): But nevermind, i rather under the stairs with you anyday anyway (: Get ready get glam get real! And i'm sorry for everything. I love you, i love you, i love you and no ones gonna even come close to changing that.

I need your arms around me, because right now I feel so alone.

When i feel your arms around me, it feels like coming home.

There's something about the look in your eyes,

Something I noticed when the light was just right,

It reminded me twice that I was alive.

And it reminded me that you're worth the fight.

Girl: Do you believe in heaven?

Boy: God heaven, or holding you tight heaven?

Next time my name starts to come out of your mouth,

i hope you choke on it.

I want you to know,

with everything I won't let this go.

These words are my heart and soul,

I hold on to this moment you know.

Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show,

that I won't let go.

Babydarling <3

2007-11-26T07:01:00.000-08:00

I loved it when my fingers were entangled in yours and my head was on your chest listening to your heartbeat while we were leaning against the wall underneath the stairs. It made me feel safe, like at that moment there and then, nothing bad could touch me. One of the most vivid memories i have of us are of that day. You made me feel safe babe. But now, that day is just a memory i yearn to relive but know that it's going to be only that: a memory. A scene that'll only replay in my mind, never in reality.

2007-11-26T03:37:00.000-08:00

Hey Jeremy,

I don't want this moment, to ever end,
Where everything's nothing, without you.
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile,
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you.

Through it all, I made my mistakes.
I stumble and fall,
But I mean these words.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Thoughts read are spoken, forever in doubt.
And pieces of memories fall to the ground.
I know what I did and so, I won't let this go.
Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets, where I walked alone,
With nowhere to go.
Have come to an end.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you don't know what you're looking to find.
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies,
When you just never know what you will find.

I don't want this moment to ever end.
Where everything's nothing without you.

I want you to know, with everything I won't let this go.
These words are my heart and soul,
I hold on to this moment you know.
Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show, that I won't let go.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-11-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

Kiss me one last time,

Clare went on an icon shopping spree :D

So anyway, thank you for the flowers, gifts, letters all. They were very sweet :D

Aaron, Aaron Chua, Addison, Alyssa, Audrey, Axel, Deidre, Denise, Gerald, Glenn ahem, Jared, Jerome, Jillian, Justin, Lester, Mariah, Michael, Michelle, Miss Michelle, Rachel, Rachael, Ryan, Samira, Serena, Shawn, Sheena, Stella, Stephanie, Tatyana, Valerie, Yanling

<3>

Ohh and thank you those long distance wishers! Jervis kang and Anastasia Goana :D

And after the mass, went out with Aaron Ang, Cabawatan, Alyssa, Edwards, Glenn, Hanbali (?), Justin, Meishi, Rachael, Reuben, Valerie. It was quite funn la, doing and watching all the stupid dares. Eh glenn and mike i still have your sexxxy video. :D

ALYSSA LIM WO AI NI DUO DUO DUO DUO DUO! You make me feel like such a princess (:

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN

2007-11-25T07:58:00.000-08:00

Ehmagod, WE'RE CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-11-22T07:20:00.000-08:00

Your lies come and go.
But my pain stays.
I'm so scared i'm gonna want to love you forever, and you're just gonna want to love me for a few more minutes.
The more you show your feelings, the more people can find ways to hurt you.
For a few moments,
I actually felt like I meant something to someone.
If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.

2007-11-21T04:22:00.000-08:00

Ooohlala, that looks so so so yummy. Guess how much it costs! 25 fucking thousand dollars! :O :O :O!

Theres no gift like a Christmas gift from Victoria's Secret :D

2007-11-19T08:32:00.000-08:00

You're all that I hoped I'd find

In every single way

And everything I could give

Is everything you couldn't take

Cause nothing feels like home,

you're a thousand miles away

And the hardest part of living

Is just taking breaths to stay

And this will be the first time in a week

That I'll talk to you

And I can't speak

It's been three whole days since I've had sleep

Because I dream of his lips on your cheek

And I got the point that I should leave you alone

But we both know that I'm not that strong

And I miss the lips that made me fly

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-11-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

I hate this computer. It has nothing! I want my laptop back. ):
I miss you, icons.

Went out today with Alyssa, Glenn, Jeremy, Meishi, Marie, Rachael and Steph. Was supposed to meet Al first to have our bestfriend talks, but she was late. And we couldn't do much talking. >:( ): Nevermind, at least i got to spend the morning with my bestfriend :D
Met the rest at Orchard mrt, ate lunch, watched Stardust then went to meet mummy to go shopping.
Stardust was a really awful meaningless movie la. The witches were like, damn fugly. I only liked the sweet sweet romantic bits (:
Ohh and, i met Lyn the girlfriend (: Sam low and jacque as well!

Tatyana can't wait for confirmation this sunday for the wrong reasons ;D

Don't tell me that ~~you'll always be there~~.
When you can't take three seconds away from your worthless nights,
your life of bullshit lies & faked out tears,
to listen to what I've got to say.
You were never supposed to mean this much to me.
Girl: "What kind of wedding do you want?"
Boy: "The kind that would make you my wife"

I want my bangs back.

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN (:

2007-11-18T05:36:00.000-08:00

Love till it hurts,
Confirmation camp was really really good (:
Addison and Judette were like, the best facillitators. (Ahem, tat (: )
Anyway, i'm glad i got to know so many people better. Even though its like, the last few days together. Awww, so sad! We may never be seeing each other again. :O
Love love love!
Ooohlala, Serena and Deidre are the bestest cathecists ever!

Tat, our late night talks about CFC, Baby #1, Baby #2, Girl and MILK will not be forgotten. ;D
Hey Jeremy your secret admirer's not so secret. Wahahaha :D
I THINK YOURE SEXXXYYY!

You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy,
even if you're not the reason behind that happiness.
Let's lay on our backs and gaze at the stars.
Let's pretend that for a moment
all that matters is you and I.
Let's pretend that hearts could never be broken.
And even if they could,
lets pretend that you would never think of breaking mine.

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-11-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Confirmation camp 16th-18th November. (:

My dearest Anastasia Klaudia Goana,
You're off to Egypt tomorrow! And as much as it sucks that we haven't hung out in so long, and that you can't come for my confirmation ):, i do hope you have a greater than great time i Egypt and wehrever else you're going. Take care and be safe yes? I can't wait for our major shopping date on the 3rd. :D I love you BIMBO! And i will miss you insanely =-*!

I think God really wants me to die soon.

Jing tian shi xing qi san

2007-11-14T02:34:00.000-08:00

We're back from Chiangmai!

Ahhh, i'm missing it all now.

I miss you, BOY. ): <3

Ms Koh, Mr Tan, Ms Ng, Ms Teo, Cindy, Sharleen, Stephanie, Eliza, Amanda, Jessica, Fion, Alesia, Joanna, Michelle, Clarissa, Gladys, Estella, Vena, Gracia, Valerie, Kerlene, Eleanor, Kaiying, Stella, SamLow, Liyin, Tiara, Huigeok, Pii Loong, Pii Cuong, Pii Meiy, Pii Chart, Pii Nook, Pii Li, Pii Chris, Pii D, Pii Fi, Jyap, Kook, Mork, Nim, Tay, Teang, Renu, Khiing

Thank you guys for everything.

No regrets, definitely (:

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2007-10-30T06:18:00.000-07:00

Then i'll really have to go,

Awww, look at what sam sam ching ching just sent to me!

It's eight out of The Thirteen. Dewi, Gillian, Rachel, Vienna and i aren't there. ): Awww, they all look so young! Haha, i love The Thirteen times (: <3

It's hard to stand next to you and not feel inadequate. It's so fucking difficult to walk beside tall, skinny, smart and absolutely gorgeous you and not feel stupid, obese and ugly in comparison. Okay fuck, diet time.

Chiangmai 2nd-13th November

Hey Ray Ban Wayfarer, i want you.

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2007-10-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

No stopping, bar hopping

Why is it that so few people are online ):
I'm online window shopping at Victoria's secret now. HAHA. I love the pjs man. I shall go buy some when i go to NYC :D Ehmagod, one month and eleven days till NYC-Canada. Yay, i can't wait to go away (:
Valerie Lim is teaching me exercises to make your boobs grow. Okay this is hilarious.

Rock never dies says:
raise your left arm
Rock never dies says:
put down
Rock never dies says:
then right arm
Rock never dies says:
swing it up
Rock never dies says:
when it is raised
Rock never dies says:
you should see that your boobs move upwards too

Ehmagod, bitch has a prada. GRRR. >:(

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-10-26T05:15:00.000-07:00

Let them fall baby fall,

Oooh, one more week till we go to Chiangmai! I guess it's pretty scary, but so exciting! We satyed back till quite late today to pack. There's so much to bring over there. Wonder how we're gonna carry everything man. :P
Past 2 days we've been going to some children's hometo help out and do cip. Quite fulfilling i must admit, although the children were really really difficult to teach. >:( Haha, Amirul! Rock never dieeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss :D

About 2 more months till it's christmas again (: Yay, i can't wait. Where are you christmas. It's so weird, almost one year has past already, since like all of us used to hang out. Marie, Meishi, Rachael and the rest of the guys all. Woah, it's been long ah. Hah. ):

"Don't just scream for nothing" You say. Well fuck you, you asshole. have you ever thought how much certain things mean to ME? I hope you read this and know how much i HATE you. Yes, i completely detest you. I hope the world sees you for who you really are. I hope you hurt too. I hope you never be happy. Just fucking go die, bastard.

I know, that whatever i do will never be enough for you. I know my results aren't exactly great but at least i improved right? Didn't you use to say, that as long as i improved it'd be good enough? You hypocrites. If only you'd take time out from your silly insignificant stupid lives to look at me and see that i am really trying despite what you think. Ugh, i hate how you make me feel so insipid and small. From now on i won't bother anymore. Since anyway, whatever i do, however hard i try, it won't be good enough right?

I want someone to tell me i'm beautiful, and mean it.
I want someone to tell me they love me, and meant it.
I want someone to tell me ~~everything will be alright~~, and mean it.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-10-22T05:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry enough to tell you that i'm okay,

Today school was a complete waste of time. We had stupid talks on self esteem and style what the fuck, which i'm positive didn't help me at all. Alesia, Anne Xue and Sam didn't come today. Ponners! ):Michelle Liew. :O :O :O Which is totally wrong and embarassing. Mannn, i'm weak ): At least my last shred of dignity was restored when i beat Widya. ;D! HAHA.
After school met Jeremy at interchange. Went for lunch at Mos with him and Mish (: And spent the rest of the evening with him.

Hey you, i'm sorry if i've not been a good enough friend for you. At least unlike you, i'm trying. All you seem to do is bitch about, wallowing in self-pity that the whole world's out to get you blah blah. Reading all your posts, i realised that you don't really care about me. And maybe, i'll just stop caring for you too. Maybe yes it's true, lately i haven't found the time to talk to you. Thst doesn't mean that i'm planning on not talking to you forever right. And it's not like you've done your part as a friend as well.

And you, disappointed doesn't even begin to describe what i'm feeling towards you. You say you're trying, but are you really? As happy as i am that we're finally talking, It seems like every conversation we have is always about the same issues. Me asking how you are, and you telling me you're trying. Well, try harder.

And you, know that i won't do anything that'll jeopardise what we have. 'Cos you're more special-er to me than any weird drink machine that dispenses that Qoo grape drink when you want something else. And that i'll sit on that swing no matter how dizzy i get or how sick i feel just to make you happy.

And you, surely you should know me better than to believe him and all of them over me right? I don't even fucking know him at all. But, whatever.

Just 9 more day. I can get through 9 fucking more days.

Make your own assumptions on life,
just don't make any for mine.
Peyton: When I went to bed last night I was living a fairytale.
When I woke up, it was a nightmare.
Jake: It still is a fairytale. Don't give up on it.
And it seems to be that all along,
the problem was,
I cared more about you
more than you cared about me.

2007-10-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

Almost a year ago.

Nathan: But Haley saved me long ago.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-10-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

Playing pretend,

I hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams i hate exams.

Oooh guess what. I found the Shakeaway website. Okay maybe i didn't have to search much but yeah, i was thinking of Uk and i went to search for it. And ahhhh, i want to have our milkshakes again! Lets go bck to Bath just to get it Alyssa, Cheryl, Lianne and Rebekah :D

http://www.shakeaway.com/

I won't want anything more, anymore. I will be satisfied with everything i have. I don't need more. Yeah, keep telling yourself that Clare, soon you'll believe it. (Ehmagod, you're referring to yourself as a third person. You're turning into Chris Keller. HAHA.)

I should get used to being disappointed right? It seems like everything that happens nowadays eventually turn into big fat size 18 disappointment.

Hey jerk, you have no idea about anything that's going on now. So just keep your insignificant, petty, insensitive comments to yourself. Frankly, i don't give a fuck if your heart gets broken. Hah.

~~I thought you might be my someone in the sand~~.

I thought i might be something you needed, like a good friend.

but you can keep your distance, i guess i'll understand.

The bestfriend and the boyfriend. Real classy.

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-10-18T03:47:00.000-07:00

Maybe we're trying, trying too hard

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHALYN TAN!
I love you babe.

It kinda sucks how fast time flies right. Just 4 over months ago we were all in UK. ): I miss the tenners and all our funn and worry-free times there. Ahhh, reading Ena's old post of our Uk trip makes me wanna go back right now! ):

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=goanastasia&nextdate=6%2f16%2f2007+23%3a59%3a59.999

We went to the science centre today. All in all it was quite funn la. Better than usual lessons in school :D
Michelle and her push pop ;D, Gladys and Michelle's push pop, Gian and her penguins, Rebekah and her haribo, Van and her The Killers and Velvet Revolver, Al and her African Music, Al and her Cabawatans!!!, Anne and her 45minute Macs queue, Lianne and her "Clare's so smart" :DDD, Anne tan and her shoulder tapping, and all that oral sex. HAHAHA!

Ohh man, we're getting back the results of the hard hard hard papers tomorrow. ): ):

I wish i was as invisible as you make me feel.

2007-10-16T02:53:00.000-07:00

List up to ten things you want to say to ten different people in no particular order.

Do not state who these people are.

1. I'm afraid to admit how much i love you.

Even though it seems like i don't, i do. You bitch!

2. Shit, you're like disappearing. And fuck i'm so jealous.

And i feel like i have to compete with you, you know?

3. Maybe one day you'll look back and just not remember we were friends.

But i won't.

4. Serena can't compete with Blair despite what you think :D

Blair is fucking awesome possummm!

5. I miss the McFLY times babe. Poynter still owns Judd anyway (:

6. I'll be here forever Loser with the capital L.

I love you mostest mostest mostest. I swear!

And you know me best <3

7. I wish i was you.

8. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

I really appreciate it love :D

9. Muacksmuacksmuacks

=-*!

10. FUCK YOU

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2007-10-16T00:40:00.000-07:00

The one i lost when i let go of you,

Yesterday met Rebekah at 10:10 and we watched The Nanny Diaries which was nice. Harvard Hottie is so sweet (: Then we went jalan jalan around taka and wisma while we waited for Miss Valerie Lim who took so long to come. Then Val finally came and we went shopping! :D Shopped away basically the whole afternoon and Rebekah had to leave at around 4ish. Then Val and i returned to Topshop and spent like 1 and a half hours there. It was so so so much funn :D :D :D Saw Jeremy and Zach as well. Haha (:

Today the ChiangMai girls went to get their injections. They were so so scary and SO PAINFUL. Gian gian gian the rest kept making funn of us ): and the stupid nurse also! kept teasing me >:( it's notmy fault that i find needles scary right. Anyway ehmagod the aftermath of the injection's bad as well. AHHHH ): But anyway, Glad started telling me bout who gve who blowjobs and i felt better. HAHAHA.

Yay, al and i are going to talk talk first thing in the morning tomorrow. Our talk's long overdue miss Lim. And i miss you like, CRAZYYYY. ): I love you bestfriend (:

And ehmagod, Fausta says we'll be getting back geog and lit tomorrow. Okay i'm so fucking scared now ): ):

Val has got me hooked on her baby i'm yours song. Haha, i think it's so cute lah!

I'm not that strong without you.

2007-10-14T07:13:00.000-07:00

It's almost like you had it planned.
It's almost as if you said,
'hey i'm about to screw you over big time.'

2007-10-12T06:35:00.000-07:00

Let's say the whole city blacked out. Would you be the one to hold my hand and walk with me? Guide me, through uneven grounds, even though you're just as lost as i am? Reach out and block me before i trip, as though you can predict my every move? Reassure me that nothing could possibly happen to me, because you'd be there?
Or would you be the one that leaves me to fend for myself? Intentionally spinning me around in circles to make me even more lost? Push me around just to hurt me? Pretend to reach out your arm for me to hold, but just as i'm about to grab on, you turn away? Lead me to an edge, push me over, and watch me fall?
Which would you choose to be? 'cos i used to think of you as the former. But now the latter seems like a perfect description of everything you are, and the former just a perfect description of everything I wished you'd be.

There's only so many stars i can make wishes on. There's only so much hope i can have before i finally stop believing. I've been missing 11:11 for the past few days. Is that God's way of telling me you aren't worth wishing for anymore?

Because for her, being without him was like forgetting how to laugh;
it was that unimaginable.
What i need is for someone to tell me,
just once,
that ~~they wouldn't know what they'd do without me~~.
It's been a year now, since you were here now.
And i've been trying to heal inside.
And on my birthday, i said an extra wish for you.
For you.

JING TIAN SHI XING QI WU

2007-10-12T05:07:00.000-07:00

On the line for your love,

Went to east coast park today. Wasn't full clique but it was till good. Cat had guides, anthea and Ju were missing.

Met everyone at Ang Mo Kio first at 9, then we took a bus to East Coast. Glad and i were the only cool, not-mellow people on the bus, with our damn cool hiphop :D Got off the bus, walked to East Coast Park and met Anne and Lianne. Glad and i went tanning and the rest went cycling. It was very hot. Haha. Then suddenly Val comes back to tell us Lianne collapse/fainted/had an asthma attack. It was insanely insanely scary. :O I hope you're okay now dear (: Then we met Val's cat high friends, HAHA. Val and i went tanning together while waiting for the rest, and ehmagod so embarrassing. :X inside joke! (: HAHA. Then Glad joined us and we had a good time :D minus the barker boys. Everyone went back pretty early today. Leaving Al, Amanda, Rebakah and i. We climbed trees! Amanda the monkey (:

Okay so now im sunburnt and HATING it i tell you. Its so painful i shall never go tanning again. But i have a tan line now! Haha, thats quite hot ah. (:

Okay, so maybe it didn't seem like such a good time today. Everyone seemed rather sad. Maybe it was cos of Lianne's accident/thing? I'm not too sure. I hope this isn't like a sign that we're getting sick of each other or something, cos that'll really suck. Okay anyway, i had a good time. Thank you Alesia, Alyssa, Amanda, Anne, Gladys, Lianne, Rebekah, Samantha and Valerie. <3

I love you all, with every inch of me.

Jing tian shi xing qi san

2007-10-10T05:46:00.000-07:00

Some people cry,

DUDDDEEEEE EXAMMS ARE OVERRRRRRR!!!!
Okay i basically fucked each and every paper up i'm sure. But nonetheless i'm glad end of years are gone. (:
Met Jeremy today. And met mish to exchange clothes also (: After the Chiangmai trip briefing. Gian and i are sleeping partners ;D ehmagod, we're like, screwed man. She's dumb and i'm dumb and ehmagod i wonder how that'll work out. HAHA.

Some People Laugh
Some People Cry
Some People Live
~~Some People Die~~
And Some People Run
Right into the Fire
And Some People Hide
Their Every Desire

But We Are The Lovers
If You Don’t Believe Me
Then Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Some People Fight
Some People Fall
Others Pretend
They Don’t Care At All
If You Wanna Fight
I’ll Stand Right Beside You
The Day That You Fall
I’ll Be Right Behind You
To Pick Up The Pieces

If You Don’t Believe Me
Just Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Another Year Over
And We're Still Together
It’s Not Always Easy
But I’ll Live Forever

Yeah We Are The Lovers
I Know You Believe Me
When You Look Into My Eyes
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies
Cause The Heart Never Lies

Most meaningful song ever i swear, (:
I love you till forever ends,
i love you darling,

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-09-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

The summer's out of reach,

Student leaders investiture today. I still can't believe that Alesia Gian Chia Yee is a councillor. :O What fucked up nonsense man. HAHA. Ohh, and thank you Gian for the sweet cd thing anyway (:
Sitting with Anne, Gap, Gillian, Jessica and Samantha was really funn. ~~Ehmagod the cow and the pigs~~. The skit was good too. Samira Shah and Danella Foo are the funniest ever. HAHA :D

Yay, its the weekend again.
ANNE XUE PEI YING HAS FOUND COMBOS IN SINGAPORE. EHMAGODDDDD. :O:O:O!!!

And when the clock strikes twelve
Will you find another girl to go and kiss and tell?
Cause you know I never will.

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN (:

2007-09-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

I could fall asleep in those eyes,

Yay (:
Went for St ignatius's confirmation yesterday. All the girls looked so pretty pretty :D Happy confirmation Aaron, Amanda, Anne, Catherine, Edmund, Gillian, Lianne, Michelle, Rachel, Sarah, Stephanie! :D
Day before met Al first, then went out with the clique for lunch (: And spent the rest of the day with Jia lor mee :D
One of the bestest days ever<3
Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone. And the presents.
Love lots :D

Her: I thought you were going to save the world?
Him: I saved you didn't i? You are my world.

2007-09-05T04:03:00.000-07:00

But, i loved you first.

Jing tian shi xing qi san

2007-09-05T03:16:00.000-07:00

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer,

Vanessa Lim Ying Ying! Michelle loves me more than she loves you. Hah! Mishy, pretty eyes (:, awww, yknow you're the pivot of my life too! The centre! *does our cool batman finger hand thing* ;D I miss Constance and Samira an equal amount. (: G, i don't owe you anything babe! More like YOU owe me. :D

Zach has been teaching me how to speak ah beng (?) language. Very educational conversation sia! Hahaha.
Okay, i'm gonna watch Little Mermaid now. Awww, i love Prince Eric!
Argh, i wish Rebekah Jia Shan Broughton didnt have counsil stuff. I feel like baking. Bitch! ):

(:

(:

And just remember, you could've had me.
And I think maybe the worst feeling in the world,
is being forgotten by ~~someone you could just never forget about~~.

Jing tian shi xing qi er

2007-09-04T01:56:00.000-07:00

You asked me do i love you but, do you remember?

Thank you Meishi Koon for our midnight talk last night. Spilled pretty much everything thats been going on in my life now to her. Awww, you made me feel like 756243956274 times better cheena. Thank you.

Met Rachael yesterday at J8. Met Glenn Tan Jie Hao and his gang. Walked around, and met Jaime Lew the bimbo and Rachel Thong. Rach finally decided to have dinner at Macs. Blah, i had french fries. There goes the diet ): >:( Then we rushed to Novena for Shine Jesus Shine. Tried cam-whoring on the train but failed miserably 'cos we both kinda forgot how to smile.
:D
Surpisingly, we made it to Novena church on time :O Haha. Sat with Stella <3 and Jacque my prince just like last year. And we kept trying to get our pictures taken. Cross fingers! Everyone was jealous cos i brought my physics tys to sit on. HAH! (: Ohh, i met Beatrice Png too. (:

I'm just gonna keep telling myself that we'll get better. I'm gonna keep remembering only the good times. The Peek-a-boos. It's just another silly insignificant fight. Nothing changes. Even though our dreams and plans and everything we thought would happen seem really far away, and our future doesn't seem secure at all now, nothing changes. Right? Or wrong.

Ohh great, now the wireless connection's fucking up also.

What hurts more than losing you
is knowing you're not fighting to keep me.
As long as you're happy then ~~I will be too~~.
But a part of me died when you told her, "I love you".
When your hand is in mine, i used to think,
"This is the way it should be."
Haley: Nathan, couples don't get married in High School. It's just not normal.
Nathan: So? I'm not normal. What i'm feeling is definitely not normal. To be honest with you Haley, i don't ever want to be normal. Not with you.
<3

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN >:(((

2007-09-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

Got to get myself over you,

Stupid sucky sad sunday, >:( ): !
Retai theraphy hardly helped. All the white dresses i tried on for confirmation, made me look like A) A fat cow B) A bridesmaid that just got dumped C) A LOSER Why why why, must we wear white? White's such an unflattering colour. It makes me look even fatter than i already am. UGH >:(
The smell of Marc Jacob's rain can't cheer me up. The anticipation and excitement i usually get when walking pass Chanel was missing. The high i got from meeting Rachael, Tat and Vienna wore off.
UGH UGH UGH.
I hate you, you stupid sucky sad sunday.

But but, i bought a new lipstick today. So yeah that helped :D And, alyssa and i had our own lil par-tayyyy right bestfriend? Estrogen power!

Rock'n'roll says:
i want a present hor
Alesia. says:
I am your present
Alesia. says:
ONE OF A KIND

(:

Who said that it's ~~better~~ to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all.
Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well
to realize they're really a stranger.
-Marilyn Monroe
"Always and forever. That's what sucks Haley.
I still love you, i just can't trust you."
-Nathan, One Tree Hill
And for a few moments,
I actually felt like I meant something to someone.

2007-08-31T07:21:00.000-07:00

And i can't hide that i relied on you.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-08-31T05:48:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna be the one that tells you a lie,

Teacher's day today. (: All in all it was okay. 2.1's performance was super messy but still, i had ah-lot of funn playing the dumb first class cheerleader wannabe person. :D Rachael Lye is a SEXY CHEERLEADER in her tight mid driff baring top and teeny weeny skirt. Heeheehee (:
Teachers were actually quite cute today. They were actually sporting :O And Doraly and Samira were super funnaye emcees. Hahaha.
After school, was supposed to go watch Hairspray with the clique but nooooo, i had to play round robin ): So we went Danella's house to play. Then Ash, Gab Yanglin and i went town. But the Hairspray was full and we couldn't watch. ): ): So we ended up towning. I love Ash Gabby and Yanglin the Zac-Efron-crazy :D!

I can't believe you're leaving. One year and about 2 months is all we'll have from now on. That realllyyyyy sucks. I can't imagine going to school without you there. But, what sucks more is that you didn't even tell me. I had to find out from someone else. BLAH. Please don't go. Don't leave lah ):

September holidays are heeereee :D but according to teachers it's a study break. Not a holiday. ): I really really cannot wait for the December holidays. Ena and i have an awesome wonderful extremely good plan for the Tenners to be together again :DD

DUUUUUDDDDEEEE DOUGIE, GASPARD AND NATHAN ARE MINEEEE :D

I miss you all wrong.
My pictures; they never did line your mirror.
The question will be,
when the time comes,
do you want to be saved?
-Captain hook
but most of all, i'm scared of never feeling for the rest of my life, the way i feel when i'm with you.

Jing tian shi xing qi liu

2007-08-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

'cos i don't know how to make a feeling stop,

I miss Uk ): I miss you, tenners! Haha, i'm remembering the night at the hotel in Bath. The super loooong gossip session in the sec4's room with the scary drunk guys and the very freaky walk to Anne's room, which resulted in a very short sleep. The night in Birmingham, when we watched Britain's got talent, and at night Cheryl stole my place on the bed and i had to sleep at Broughton's feet. >:( I miss the super looong bus rides with Gill. I miss the hotdogs and the milkshakes!!! ): I miss the nice cannot-sweat weather. I miss the yummy buffet breakfasts. Haha! Ehmagod, i reallllyyyyyy wanna watch Wicked again ): And and! I wouldn't mind going on the ghost walk or the ghost towers thingy again. :OOO

All in all, i realllllyyyy miss UK. ): tenners, after the sec 4s complete their o's, lets go back!

Bestfriend, please cheer up. I'm sorry i can't make you feel any better than you do now. It's all not worth it la. And, i don't wanna see you sad.

My heroine (:

Is it wrong that i'm addicted to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack? :X HAHA troy!!

I wouldn't give these 2 years back for the world.

The stars are shining, the moon is right,

and I would kill to be with you tonight.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-08-24T06:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Clare,

I'll be back so soon you won't have time to miss me. Look after my heart-I've left it with you.

Jet'aime toi ma cherie.

Love, G.

Jing tian shi xing qi tian

2007-08-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

But it's my heart that's breaking,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENN TAN JIE HAO :D
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERVIS :D
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MISS MARIE LEE SHI :D <3
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SEAN :D

How did everything get so complicated? Wasn't it not long ago that it was just about school, girl friends, celebrities ando othe sinple things? When the only boys we loved were McFLY? When did everything unknowingly change to become about boys, looks and superficial things? How did we get all screwed up, and since when were we ever so, sad? Why is it that after we've all become like this, we can't extract ourselves and that things can go back to the way they were then? Why is it we can't be happy with what we have now, and keep wanting more? Why is it we could then?

And how did we change? When did we start lying to each other, hiding our real feelings from each other, not trusting each other? When did we start getting afraid to show our true selves to one another? Why couldn't it just be about us being together? Why are there strings attached to "i love you"?

The cold rainy weather's reminding me of London. I wanna go back. ):

Rachael, please don't be sad. It's alright, talking to you made me feel 100 times better already. And yeah, i'm hear for you babe. You know that right? (:
I love my friends more than one hundred thousand Chanel 2.5s and Jimmy Choos python skin wedges in emerald green :O
I love you more than a million.

The world's a playground
and youre the only one that could push my swing.
I'd rather have tough situations with you
than perfection with ~~someone else~~.

2007-08-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

We're all just afraid to be alone. We're so scared that we'll settle for anything, anyone, to make us any bit happier. But what happens when we're still not happy? What happens when we still feel alone? Then what?

I need you to come back to me.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-08-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

That's what you get when you let your heart win,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL CHEE!! :D <3
The week passed quite quickly. (:
Round robin with Gap, Venetia && Yanglin on tues was hilarious. Hahaha gap! :D And on tues for pe we did dance. Mishy miss pretty eyes is my partner :D Yay! We dance reallllyyy well together i tell you. Better than Anne and Tia, and Broughton and Doralyn!

Enough with the "i'll be here for you always". Ever since you've gotten attached, you haven't been there like you claimed you would. And that really fucking sucks, cos i really trusted you. And i miss you and love you and i care about you, so damn much. But i guess you've got no time for me anymore. And i think, i'm finally okay with that. I've gotten used to you not being there.

I'm dissapointed in you. I never ever imagined things between us would come to this. I can't believe you all of all people would lie to me. Was i seriously not enough for you? Well, thanks for the past two years. I guess that's all we'd have.

I love Alyssa and Rebekah more than two hundred and seventy eight thousand, eighty three million, sixty seven billion, nine hundred and twenty nine gazillion maltesers and hershey kisses.

It's times like these when i miss you most;
remembering when we were so close.
I'm not sorry I met you, I'm sorry it's over.
When i look into your eyes, everything seemed nice.
But when i looked twice, i could see all the lies.
I was hurt but I was still proud. Everyday.
-Nathan, one tree hill <3

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN ):

2007-08-12T05:55:00.000-07:00

Fall baby fall,

I hate how you can twist everything and make everything seem about someone else instead of you. I hate how you're too proud to admit you're wrong and never apologise. I hate how you have to comment on every thing that I do, when no part of it remotely concerns you. I hate how you seem so smugly satisfied seeing me sad.

I hate how time after time you prove to me that promises dont mean anything to you. I hate how everytime things seem good with us, you have to tell me something that makes me feel so dumb for thinking that we things between us were good in the first place. I hate how i spend almost like all my time thinking of you when i shouldn't. I hate how after everything, i still want to carry on. It took me seven hundred and eight days to realise you look better with any girl but me.

Today i cried. And i felt happy. Then i looked in the mirror and cried even more. I wish i was born in like an era where looks weren't everything. I wish Nathan Scott really existed. He chose Haley, && she wasn't like the prettiest or the skinniest. That so doesn't exist now. Ugh. It's no point wishing for a noah-allie nathan-haley relationship.

Right now i feel like being with Miss Rachael Lye who always always makes me happy :D Sugar sugar i'm gonna look for you first thing tomorrow.
Thank you Miss Constance Tang. I don't know why, but after just a few smses from you i felt so so much better. And the msgs weren't even special! Hahaha.
Alyssa lim peining you give horrible advice. What, step on his foot and run away??

I'm sitting here trying my hardest
not to look your way.
Not because I don't want to see you.
I just know that
when I look up, you won't be looking back.
If ever I made a mistake,
it's not loving you,
it's thinking that someday you'll love me too.
The worst feeling in the world isn't being lonely.
But being forgotten by someone you can't forget about.
To look back and see how things used to be
knowing it'll never be the same
& realizing it doesn't matter to him at all.
Because he doesn't miss a thing.

2007-08-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

Pictures! :D

Nathan: Baby you know how you're always saying that you're not going anywhere? I need to hold you to that right now. I need you to come back to me.
<3

Jing tian shi xing qi si

2007-08-09T03:53:00.000-07:00

Before it's too late,

I'll post pictures later.
I love these lyrics (:

You're making a choice to live like this,
And all of the noise,
I am Silence.
We already know how it ends tonight,
You run in the dark through a firefight.
And I would explode just to save your life,
Yeah I would explode.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky.

I can't find a wall to pin this to,
They're all coming down since I've found you.
I just wanna be where you are tonight.
I run in the dark looking for some light,
And how will we know if we just don't try,
We won't ever know.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you.

Let me light up the sky,
Just for you tonight.
Let me help you fly,
Cause you won't have time,
To cover your eyes,
Or get your disguise.
They won't ask you why,
They just watch you die.

And it's still so hard to be who you are,
So you play this part,
And the show goes on.
But you've come this far with a broken heart,
Yeah you've come this far,
And you're broken.

Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me tell you why,
I would die for you.
Let me light up the sky,
Light it up for you.
Let me make this mine,
I'll ignite for you,
I'll ignite for you.

Jing tian shi xing qi yi

2007-08-06T05:34:00.000-07:00

Chemical love story,

Happy confirmation Anastasia Klaudia Goanna!
I love love love you sta sta (:
Yay, yesterday went for ena's confirmation mass with Al && Glad, && we had a tenners dinner at night! Girlfriend && i met up first to take neoprints. :O Hahaha :D I had ah-lot ah-lot of funn, && ah-lot ah-lot of yummy things to eat! How many trips to the dessert table eh anne? :D hahaha. Woo, everyone looked so sexxxy :D Ohh ohh && cleavage pictures cheryl! HAHA!

Heels over head, says:
Not all gay men have anal sex. Some don't like it or want to do it and others only do it rarely. Some research in the UK has suggested that about two thirds of men who have had any sexual experience with another man in their lives have never had anal sex at all.
anne says:
i thought like most of them would do it since they cant have proper sex.

Kinky anne! HAHA

Nothing truly matters to you anymore. Fuck what everyone thinks, we're nothing like what they make us out to be lah.
McFLY's greatest hits tour starts in 52 days :D

So go on, kiss her.
Right when I'm watching.

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-08-03T05:35:00.000-07:00

Jenny, you got me on my knees

-- Gillian says:
I'm confused
-- Gillian says:
Cant tell who is who
have you heard the lucky plaza joke? says:
are you confucious?

Ahahaha! 7 out of The Thirteen are conversing now. And it's madness. Hahaha, i miss you guys alot alot. && i miss Lizzy! ): ): I miss our hotel stay! Ahhh, bring back 2004!

Went out for lunch with girlfriend today! Yayyy <3 Alyssa, Anne && Gillian came over to do our english AIDS project yesterday. It was super unproductive, we just ended up going on friendster && looking at hot people. Joe. HAHA! Got back some tests today. I'm quite happy i passed a maths && physics. Failed chem though ): Haha, ohhwells.

I miss going out with Marie, Meishi, Rachael && all the guys. ): We should all go out soon! But everyone's hot their own stuff nowadays ):

have you heard the lucky plaza joke? says:
i think my body is very ideal because i am very sexy

Classic samira. HAHAHA

"Over the past year i've learned so much about life and love.
And even if i could i wouldn`t take back all the bad things between us
because they got us here to this moment.
Marry me, haley.
Marry me again."
- Nathan, one tree hill <3

Jing tian shi xing qi TIAN (:

2007-07-29T06:29:00.000-07:00

You're simply Kim Possible,

Cons messaged me at midnight. Saying she was watching Shutter. :O YUCKS. Made me think of the time we went to watch Shutter. Cons, Dewi, Samira && Vienna. (: Scared the hell out of me. Haha! Yayyy the 13's gonna have an outing soon. :D <3

Back to school tomorrow. Blah, to the lessons. Yay to the friends (: Gian && i had a funnaye phone call today. Hahaha spastic wo ai ni.
How is it that some people can have so much will power as to not eat at all. They're so so lucky. Blahhh.

Haley: I don't wanna wake up and have you not be here again.

Nathan: I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere.

Chanel = Love
Karl Lagerfeld's a genius (:

Jing tian shi xing qi wu

2007-07-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

All the things you'd hide from me,

Yayyy, the weekend's here again.
I haven't had any time for one tree hill ): I'm gonna fail my a maths test ): I hate Krishna that bitch >:( I miss Nathan Scott ): ): I love 'more than anyone' by Gavin Degraw (: My sister's gone to Vienna ): Alyssa's 15 (:

Ahhh, i think guys with long hair are hot. :D Heh, Jaime Burke is the ultimatest hottie-mcgotty hahaha wooo! DOUGIE POYNTER has the best hair && best clothes ever. Justin Timberlake as well (: I'm in a McFLY mood again. <3

Ohh no, it's so cold. Romantic rain everyday = no tennis :D!

Mineeeee (: This is so old, but i love his hair.

Ehmagodddd Poynter! :D

Brooke: Did you miss me?

Lucas: Everyday pretty girl.